The last few months have been incredible and can best be described as a period of immeasurable growth. I have watched our first child come into this world and grow in new ways every day. Our startup, which is also our new baby, is growing rapidly and, perhaps as a consequence of both of these life-changing events -- every experience in my life feels like an explosion. I feel like I have undergone exceptional personal growth as well.
A New Father And A New Founder
Being a new father and a new founder at the same time has taken me on two powerful, yet strangely interrelated, journeys. I often watch my son in awe, as only a parent can, and reflect on the choices he makes, the instincts he relies on and the behaviors he exhibits. And in those moments I can’t help but think that I should approach things in my startup in the same way.
When I make an effort to adopt the behaviors that seem to come so naturally to my son, good things tend to happen. I see the challenges our company faces with greater clarity, I feel better equipped to make decisions and I feel more confident in my leadership.
I read hundreds of articles a week in an attempt to improve my skills, learn new things and understand how the market is evolving. And yet, a new and wonderful source of knowledge has unveiled itself from right under my feet. Quite literally.
I have summarized what I have learned in the hope that you might benefit as much as I have. If nothing else, you might just find some of the stories entertaining.
Practice Makes Perfect
One of the things I enjoy most about being a parent is watching my son learn new skills. First, it was rolling, then crawling commando style, then sitting up and now standing. The interesting thing is that as soon as he learns a new skill he develops a single-minded obsession with it. He practices again and again until he masters his craft. Nobody tells him to do that and even if we did he wouldn’t understand. He is naturally driven to improve and he is entirely self-taught.
When his first attempts fail he remains resolute. There is no crying about the fail, no screaming nor overt emotions, no depression, no tearing the precious little amount of hair out. He just tries again. And again. He never shows signs of defeat. He never loses confidence. He continues until he physically tires or we stop him. Every day he gets better and eventually, he nails it.
For entrepreneurs, the need to develop expertise in new domains in neverending. Straying outside the comfort zone is an essential part of the job. Sometimes that may seem overwhelming.
But watching a baby teach himself to move forward with no instruction manual, relying solely on trial and error, reminds me how simple it is to develop new skills.
Nobody is born with expertise. We teach ourselves by trying new things and practicing. If we are passionate enough and determined enough then we will push past the tediousness of repetition. That is how we eventually develop mastery.
Failure Is Nothing To Fear
One of the things I quickly realized is that babies don’t have context. They don’t know that darkness might be scary, or that if they fall over an expected outcome is crying, and they certainly don’t care what color shirt they’re wearing or how much they weigh. Their behaviors are bereft of outside influence in the early days. So when my son loses his balance and looks up at me I do my best to hide the panic in an attempt to mislead him that falling over is no big deal. My strategy is clearly not sustainable but for now, it’s working beautifully.
In some respects, my son lives in a version of The Truman Show. We, the producers in our little home show -- or in our startup show -- go to great lengths to manufacture an environment of safety, routine and happiness, while he, Truman, is oblivious to the world’s perils.
As a result, he is not afraid to fail.
It doesn’t occur to my son that his futile attempts to defy gravity may make him look silly. And that’s a good thing because worrying about what others think may act as a deterrent and slow his progress. Instead, he feels free to keep trying.
As adults, we often become paralyzed by our fear of failure. When we conquer this fear we are more likely to experiment without worrying too much about the consequences. And that’s when we come up with the most original ideas. According to Adam Grant, it’s not failure that we end up regretting. Rather our biggest regrets come from inaction.
Small steps are good steps
There is nothing better than seeing our boy smile, something he does hundreds of times every day. Waking up in the morning is an opportunity to welcome a new day. Seeing our dog is a reason to be excited. Food is a source of amusement. The ball is wonderful. The water is wonderful. The sand is wonderful. I am wonderful -- well, you get the idea.
In your startup, be like your child or your dog and approach everything with optimism and wonder -- and celebrate every moment.
As we get older we don’t satisfy as easily. Our goals are loftier, our standards are higher. We count our victories as being rarer. Are they rarer, or are we not counting the victories?
I recently read an article by Alan VanToai where he talks about being grateful for what we have today rather than worrying too much about the destination. I don’t think Alan is suggesting we aspire for less, or settle for a mediocre goal. My interpretation of his message is that we should take the time to enjoy small victories as they come. Every day we can find something small to feel proud of.
Conclusion
Much like growing up, the startup journey is long, challenging and volatile. It should be enjoyed and savored. Each step along the way is important. Seeing it through the eyes of a child (or your dog) allows us to live in the moment and appreciate our growth as it happens.
It’s Hard To Ignore A Great Benefit
If we end up smiling more as a result then that is an achievement in itself. Smiling has been known to reduce stress, breed trust and even prolong life.