(As told and typed by his 6-year-old niece, Louisa.)

Uncle Cow is a man, and he is nice!

He is a joyfle man. He has 2 neeses, and 1 nefuwe. He has soft scruffy hair. He has a nice wife named Amanda who takes showers 100 times a day. He has baby named Paige and a baby named Annie. He has a verey good tast. He is a strong man. He is a writer at Wexley School for girls. His favorite house anamle is a dog.

And he is a verey good prson. He is a nice, and cinde friend. He is a funny man, and is 46 years old. He is a asom prson, he is hansome, and a verey good dresser. He has 2 tatoos. He likes playing soccer. He takes shorter time in the bathroom than his wife. He has a verey smart brain. He is a little strange sometimes! He is a verey good worker. He stays up really late. His favorite song is: Happy Birthday! His favorite person is Amanda. The best thing he has ever done in his whole life was his weding day. His favorite memory of being a kid is playing stik ball in the summer with his brother.